It has been eleven, almost twelve years since I went through my crisis, but thinking about it and talking about it can make it feel not so far away. I was very vocal about my experience after my daughter was born because I’m one of those people who doesn’t want to FEEL alone. There is a difference between BEING alone and FEELING alone. I can be alone just fine. Feeling alone? It is probably the closest thing to hell I can think of.
As Grace grew older and I was introduced to social media, I shared my story a little but was also focused on making sure she wasn’t negatively affected by our experience and as I mentioned in a previous post, I NEVER want her to feel it was her fault. EVER.
Four and a half years later, I had another child and my postpartum experience was completely different than the first. I got about the business of living life with my husband and beautiful children and neatly tucked what happened away in my memories to drag out and dust off if needed.
Here is the thing: when I was trying to survive postpartum depression, I told myself, my husband, my family, my friends that if I ever made it through, I better be able to help A LOT of people.
It is hard to help when nobody even knows I can.
In the spirit of awareness and unity, I will be working on my story to share on my blog over the next week or so.
Stay tuned for . . . the rest of the story . . .