I would like to speak to you, from the heart. I would like to speak to you far away from the earshot of your parents and your attorneys. Forget their advice, forget the whisperings in your ear…begin listening to your conscience…begin searching your TRUTH.
Someone has said you were not the victim in this tragedy. That is TRUTH. However, I believe you have been a victim of a separate tragedy, the tragedy of not being encouraged to accept responsibility for your actions by the people closest to you…by the people you trust. Perhaps they believe they are helping you, protecting you, guiding you in the best direction for your future.
Where has this help, protection and guidance led you?
In the beginning, it led you to feeling suicidal. In the end, it led you to prison.
Don’t you think it’s time to get some new advice?
What are you afraid of? It has been my experience in life that the polar opposite of fear is faith. Would you be willing to put faith in the possibility that if you faced the TRUTH and expressed remorse lives could begin healing? You could possibly help more people than you have harmed by being HONEST.
You have expressed a longing to be helpful to others. HELP THEM!
However, you cannot begin helping others until you have searched your heart, mind and soul and admit the TRUTH. You cannot begin helping others, until you help yourself. If you tried to help anyone right now, how could they take you seriously? How could they believe what you were saying?
Perhaps the TRUTH is you don’t remember what happened that night. YOU DON’T HAVE TO REMEMBER TO BE RESPONSIBLE. All the evidence creates a picture, a vivid picture of the events that night. Perhaps the TRUTH is you don’t think you can handle the TRUTH. Even admitting that would be a start.
You will never read this letter. We will never have this talk. The only thing I can do now…is forgive. No amount of anger, no amount of time spent in prison, no amount of restitution will bring Erin, Caden or Baby Thompson back.
As I speak to you of finding your TRUTH, I must find mine. The TRUTH for me is that continuing to resent you for your seemingly callous reaction is pointless. There is a saying: “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” I cannot hold onto this anger; it is not mine to hold onto.
What you have done was wrong, but I will never convince you of that. You don’t know me, you don’t love me and you don’t trust me. I only pray those you do know, those you do love and those you do trust would lead you down the path of TRUTH rather than the path of deceit.
I firmly believe if you begin walking down that path of TRUTH, at the end you would be able to see Erin, Caden and Baby’s smiling faces, forgiving spirits and open arms.
Read: Odds & Ends